When January arrived after a short holiday break, we were back at it. On a typical year, I feel rejuvenated and eager to return to school. This year has been different. Plagued by a bunch of responsibilities at the start of the semester, and suffering in the sludge created by the impact of trauma living through almost a year of COVID-related challenges on my family, my friends, my school community, and me, I arrived at school more easily irritated, exhausted, anxious, and overwhelmed. Over the past month I have been striving toward the practice self-care. Here are some reflections and questions based upon my personal experiences: Mentors & Helpers There are people in my life who I reach out to when I am tired. Those people listen to me, challenge me, and help me focus on generativity, as well as rest and self-care. Over the past few weeks, I have spent time Zooming, talking on the phone, and texting mentors – both new and old. Sometimes I talk with professional at work in my building and outside my building, sometimes I talk with personal mentors in my car in the parking lot or in my driveway. Typically, after I talk with my mentors, I walk away with a few reminders about how to care for myself and others around me. I realize in these times it is important to maintain contact with my helpers. Who are your mentors and helpers? How do you reach out to for help? Time for Silence Over the past few weeks, I have re-engaged in Centering Prayer (Keating) and have connected with others who use this care tool. I am fortunate enough to work at a school where we have a free-standing chapel on our campus. In the mornings, I have been wandering over to the chapel, setting my phone timer for 20 minutes, and sitting comfortably with my eyes closed, in the quiet. As I sit, I recite my sacred word, consent. This recitation reminds me that I have made a conscious effort to surrender for 20 minutes. As I sit, I focus on belly breathing in through my nose (con) and exhaling from my mouth (sent). This quiet time of focused breathing and listening is an emptying moment, where I choose to remove myself from my routine and be in the presence of a higher power, listening and watching as thoughts come and go. When and how do you take time away for silence? Behaviors & Nutrition My January began with an intentional focus on behaviors around what I am eating and how this affects how I care for myself. How do I respond to stress and anxiety? Why do I respond with food? How do my eating patterns reflect helpful and harmful behaviors? What patterns of behavior are helpful and harmful? The answers to these questions are challenging for me, but I know that I do not address them in isolation. I can be teachable when I reach out for help from those who know more than I do. Do you engage in helpful or harmful behavior to alleviate stress and anxiety? How do you focus on self-care through choices? Exercise For two years, I have taken to the streets. Early in the mornings during the school year, I walk my neighborhood. I walk through the late summer, fall, winter, and spring. I notice the changing weather and light, and I feel a connection not only to nature and the beauty of changing seasons but also with those who walk at the same time as I do. I am practicing a solidarity. For decades, I have managed chronic back pain and joint inflammation. These conditions are exacerbated when I am anxious and stressed. For the last month I have been engaged in starting a new routine of stretching and strength conditioning, which in the longer term I hope will increase my flexibility while strengthening my core. This new routine has been physically and mentally challenging, because it has caused some pain that I work through with professionals. Each session is an opportunity to learn something new, where others help me change what is not working. This physical exercise has been an opportunity to network outside my COVID bubble and push me in new ways, with support. What role does physical exercise play in your COVID world? Meaningful Conversations Living in a school community that is highly protocoled and structured as a direct result of COVID has caused me to feel isolated at times. One new routine I have developed is to take a lap around the school building from 8:30-9:00 each morning, before classes, communicating with colleagues and friends. My, “Have a great day today!” declaration has opened the door to smiles, brief encounters, side conversations, and human connection that I would not otherwise have had. Connection with others is a counter-cultural relief from exhaustion. It also affords me the opportunity to practice listening, and it affords others the opportunity to talk about how they are feeling in the moment, as we begin a new day. What countercultural habits can you develop that foster connection with others? Kindness In my approach to our days, it has been overwhelming to continue to wade through the difficulties presented by COVID and other socio-political situations. I have been reminded by mentors to be kind to myself and others. At the same time, I have been gently reminded to “right-size” my role – realizing reasonable people disagree about many things in the world. I am reasonable (of course), but so are others around me. We are all doing the best we can with what we have. Each day is an opportunity to presuppose positive intent among those around me, while I notice and comment about all of the good things happening. How do you practice kindness toward yourself and others, approaching situations and people with positive intent? The Next Right Thing Often times my mind wanders as I think about all that I have not done or need to attend to. A mentor suggested this consideration: What’s the next right thing to do? When I focus on the next right thing, the world is not so overwhelming. Often at the start of my day, I take out an index card and write a list of priorities for my day. This action allows me to declutter the array of responsibilities, to be present to what is right in front of me. What strategies do you employ to be present to what’s right in front of you today? Art & Creativity My office at school is home to art and artifacts that remind me of who I am and how I am connected to what really matters. At a quick glance, I see family photos, prayer cards with the faces of deceased Jesuits who I knew and admired, and art from formers students. I see coffee mugs, and paintings depicting people, things, and causes I care about. I recently hung a painting that I often look at for inspiration. A few days ago, I said to a colleague, “I am most at home when I return to creative images, ideas, and outside the box thinking.” This weekend, my family and I visited the St. Louis Art Museum, to see a local exhibit on German art from 1800-present (painting above is Christ & The Sinner, Beckmann, 1917). It afforded us the opportunity to escape. Such visuals and creativity ground me and provide me with not only a connection to the world and humanity, but also the challenge to see and act in new and different ways. How do you fill your world with visual affirmation or creative energy? Yes to Connectivity A few days ago our communications director sent an email to all of the alumni in our school who teach and work here, asking us to gather after school for a photograph, to help support an article which would appear in an upcoming school publication. Without thinking of it, I said, “yes.” While I sat with others who had helped build and nurture our school throughout the years, I found myself extraordinarily grounded in and in communion with others. The simple act of “yes” and engagement with others for an ordinary task – cultivating connectivity – is nurturing. These are self-care and restful strategies I am trying to integrate into my life, being mindful of progress not perfection. Recently I read The 7 Types of Rest that Every Person Needs (Dalton-Smith) that was a great affirmation of my actions. Below is a checklist I developed after reading that article. How many do you check off on a regular basis? _ Sleep and napping _ Yoga _ Stretching _ Massage _ Physical exercise _ Short breaks every two hours _ Journaling about nagging thoughts and responsibilities _ Break from phone and TV _ Break from computer screens and background noise _ Closing eyes for a break _ Unplugging from electronics at end of day _ Getting outside to appreciate nature _ Opportunities to enjoy art _ Markers up where you teach or sit that are inspirational _ Confiding in another person about what’s really happening in your life _ Being authentic during a conversation _ Engaging in meaningful relationships that revive, not exhaust _ Surrounding yourself with supportive and positive people _ Turning on your camera during remote meetings, to connect in _ Praying or meditating
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Pete MussoAssistant Principal, Curriculum & Instruction Archives
May 2022
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